1+8 reflections on leaving an organisation after 18 years
Today I leave NCVO after 18 years. I was 24 when I joined. Since then I’ve gotten married and had two children. I’ve grown up in this organisation.
So many thoughts have been running through my head, so (because a friend said it was a good idea!) here are my buzzfeed-esque 1+8 reflections on leaving after 18 years (because 18 was too many)!
1. Change feels slow when you’re in it, but looking back gives a different perspective
I get my energy from thinking about how things can be better, and then making it happen. Change is hard, and it’s slow, and when you’re in it you wonder if it’s happening at all. But you get a unique perspective when you can look back over 18 years. Because if you keep at it, it does happen. In my case, it’s mainly been about embedding digital ways of working (test and learn, user-centred stuff, etc), working in the open, breaking down silos and increasing collaboration. But some other exhausting practical projects like implementing a new CRM and later a new finance system were drawn out and horrible to do, but made such a difference once done.
2. Why did I keep all those emails? They are of no use now
3. A mixture of bravery, luck and patience was behind my career progression
I joined in an administrative role in the membership team and leave as director of strategy and transformation having led the development of a new strategy and a restructure. It was a mixture of things that got me to where I ended up.
- bravery — going for those roles when I didn’t feel confident I could do them
- luck — the opportunities coming up at the right time, including through restructures when there was not external recruitment
- patience (or inertia?) — staying in jobs that I’d outgrown in the hope that opportunities would come in the future (or being too comfortable or scared to move on? I’m not sure to be honest)
I know that everyone’s experiences aren’t the same, and I’ve seen so many great people leave because the next step they needed wasn’t available at the right time for them. But I am really thankful for the people that believed in me and developed me along the way.
4. After 18 years, leaving on Zoom is just not fair
5. Organisational memory lives in people
In recent months I’ve been very aware of being the person who can provide some information about ‘that thing that it appears we used to do’. As a leaving gift I wrote an ‘NCVO services of the past’ document to capture some of the past, and the context for decisions made along the way. ‘Knowledge management’ is a thing I know very little about, except that everyone thinks that it needs to be better somehow.
As another gift I created a silly quiz about my time at NCVO, including some of my favourite stories because these are also important. It will be sad when no-one remains who remembers the time Fathers for Justice campaigners stormed the building (because of a Minister attending an event in our venue. This included some of them swimming across the canal chased by police in dinghies…) or the time we had a ‘laughologist’ at a staff away day and lots of people walked out and went to the pub!
6. If you’re going to stay a long time at an organisation, maternity or parental leave (or a secondment or sabbatical) helps
Being away from an organisation for a time and coming back in creates a unique opportunity, I found. It gives you perspective. You come in with fresh eyes, but also the benefit of a lot of knowledge. Which means you can spot things that others won’t. But that unique window is a short one, so make the most of it.
7. Saying thank you and giving feedback feels great
Because I’ve been slowly leaving over many months, there have been lots and lots of opportunities to say goodbye. And along with saying goodbye, to say thank you and to share with colleagues my understanding of their strengths and the impact they’ve made. And it feels great! I don’t think we do it enough. It’s a regular part of some working relationships (maybe a line management relationship, or a team that’s worked together on something) but I wish I’d made more time to reach out to others just to say thank you or share some positive feedback.
8. So many restructures, but each different
In 18 years you won’t be surprised to know that that I’ve seen many, many restructures. Including four big ones for me:
- One where I was at risk of redundancy but successfully competed for a new role — hugely stressful but in the end a good outcome
- One where I was assimilated into a role with a smaller remit — I was furious at the time, especially as it happened while I was on maternity leave, but it was probably the right decision (I lost responsibility for press and public affairs, which are not my bag)
- One where I lost part of my team to a newly formed team — okay because I believed in the importance of the new team, but I still got upset because restructure processes tend to be horrible regardless
- And the most recent one where I was responsible for designing the new organisation. Having agency helped, despite the outcome being that there was not a role for me (or at least not one that I wanted)
All felt different. But most of all I realise that I bounced back from each one relatively quickly, despite feeling very angry about some of them.
9. I am grateful to be able to ‘leave well’
I wondered how I could ‘leave well’ after the year NCVO has had. I am so glad that I stayed right till the last possible moment. It meant that I was able to see the new organisation take shape, and important work to change the culture to start, and to be able to help this happen. And because it gave me plenty of opportunities to spend time with and say goodbye to so many colleagues.
It’s been incredibly emotional to leave, and if I hadn’t been able to leave well I think it would have broken my heart. I am so thankful to my colleagues who have supported me over the last few months and who have sent me on my way with good wishes, thanks and words of encouragement.
What’s next?
I almost published this without saying anything about what I’m doing next. Which shows that I’m going to have to get better at talking about myself. Because I’m taking the leap into the world of freelancing (eek).
If you’d like to chat about strategy (with or without a digital lens) or about change, culture and ways of working, please do get in touch! I’m on twitter and LinkedIn.
